A boat, a dream, and a reality

So you may have heard. I am on a boat kick. I have been on many kicks in my day, jumping from this to that, dreaming about someday. This someday I would be rich I would be famous but most of all I would be who I want to be. Well it's not coming. Dreams are only dreams if they remain dreams to you.  You can not hope to accomplish ANY dream simply by dreaming about it.

I spent my childhood waiting to grow up then I spent my teen years not wanting to grow up. Then I began waiting again. Waiting for that day where my what my parents or a reasonable facsimile of them, has accomplished to happen for me. That day wont come where I am sitting now.

Debt, fatigue from the grind, and a lot of missed opportunities has left me feeling empty. Empty of those true accomplishments.I can't afford my life and I can't sustain this facade anymore.

I am drowning.

But here is where the boat kick comes in.  See what I did there?

I started thinking about owning a boat long ago but as all these things do the boat seeming unobtainable became a "someday" and became second to the things I needed to do. But recently a couple trips around my neighborhood I rekindled this desire and I began casually looking at the costs involved. That put it back into the realm of fantasy. I can't even afford rent and the bills how can I own a boat?

But I kept looking. Boats everywhere, but for anything nice it was expensive. But then I started looking at high end large boats and I was suprised to find out there are amazing vessels out their under 100K. I was astounded I rent an apartment and am insanely considering buying on for five times that.

What is wrong with this picture?

I have done my homework it is not cheap to own a boat. But I will tell you this much. It is owning. It is capital. For less than the cost of my apartment I can live on a OWN and live on 59 foot Ketch.

I mentioned this to Kerry and I swear I have the coolest wife in the world, because I am the one dude who could have a dream like that and their wife say. SURE!

I found a boat I could possibly afford. I look at it and think that is achievable. But as with anythings there are many cons and pessimistic ways of looking at it. But then again...

Dreams really do come true.

But only if you take the risks.

Madness: Zahra Baker's life of madness

The last 4 days have been insane in the breaking case against Elisa Baker aka E’leas. aka gothicfairy6668 @ myspace.

Zahra only reported missing on Saturday is already a full blown murder investigation. Although it seems the little girl has been missing for as much as a month. This crime was poorly covered up and due to that will be a fairly simple case in court. But as this story has only grown stranger with every hour I am sure there is much more to come.

Zahra was only 10, she was a beautiful little girl. An alleged early life battle with cancer left her a prosthetic leg from the knee down and damaged her hearing. She could hear some with help of hearing aids. But in every picture I see a smiling little kid not someone suffering.

But completely out of her control it seems she was forced to live in some pretty vile conditions. This little girl has survived cancer and overcome hearing problems only to have her family do something so horrendous to her it requires a fucking cadaver dog to smell a wood chip pile. Are you fucking kidding me? It is pretty obvious what has happened there and it is disgusting.

Apparently 50 police officers have been combing the another property on Harland road in Burke County. This property is used to store heavy equipment owned by a tree trimming business. Hey guess who worked there? Adam Beat ‘a’Baker. The have lots of equipment everything from a back hoe to a cadaver dog friendly wood chipper along with the pile it produced. I hope that poor dog really loved playtime for having to hit on that! Now before any defense quack call unreliable. It is not about reliability at this point it is building a drama. That drama that took place is like something you cannot imagine.

So whenever this terrible crime was committed. We know when the cover up was implemented. (real poorly at that).

Early Saturday morning 5:30 am there is a call to the fire department about a brush fire on the Baker property. Obviously the vehicle was intended to burn as well as it had been doused in gasoline. But that failed to ignite.

There was a ransom note (which Elisa claims she wrote) on the windshield of the vehicle also intended to be found by law enforcement and make a kidnapping story out of it. There were intentional mistakes made in the letter in a lame attempt to throw off the scent farther.

The fire was to destroy evidence that much is now clear.

Now I get to the very sad part.

Quotes from the family and friends/neighbors;
"[Elisa is a] pathological liar and a hypochondriac”. Said Elisa’s sister.

"She brought her daughter around in a wheelchair saying she had leukemia," said Elisa’s father. Apparently claiming she was dying but she never got sick.

"They kept Zahra locked in the bedroom all day, every day," said Baird

"I just think this was something for a long time that we knew was going to happen, everybody that was close to the family," Bentley a nephews wife "[she] was locked in her room, allowed five minutes out a day to eat, that was it, She was beat almost every time I was over there for just the smallest things. Elisa would get mad, she would take it out on Zahra, things the kid didn't deserve. She just had a horrible home life."

"There were warning signs along the way, but you never want to think the worst," said former neighbor Kayla Rotenberry.

As well A neighbor (Bost) stated Baker's lived here, they never mentioned a daughter. "I didn't even know that she existed. I mean I've never seen her and I never heard him mention her or anything like that,” Bost said.

So it seems this madness was a long time coming but I find it very sad that the entire family and people around them knew of the abuse and did nothing for the poor girl. At least now with the lights shut of no one can hurt her again.

These terrible parents, who have done a terrible thing, did not just become terrible. They have long histories of terribleness. But this atrocious crime is something that will go down in history as another failed life brought on by a society that puts themselves before others and thinks only of the moment and wont wake up and realize it has made a monster until it is too late.

This poor little girl should have made a difference in life. Hopefully she can make a difference in death instead.

Madness: Here comes another high profile case

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itNpfM2OoG8&feature=player_embedded

There is something amiss here, smells of madness.

This is not over.

Madness: Brandon Rhode, Ga. Death Row Inmate, Denied Delay in Execution Despite Suicide Try

ATLANTA (CBS/AP) A federal judge has refused to block tonight's scheduled execution of a Georgia death row inmate who attempted to commit suicide on Tuesday, the day he was originally to be put to death.
According to court filings, 31-year-old Brandon Joseph Rhode used a razor to slash his elbows and his neck, which caused him to go into traumatic shock. Authorities say Rhodes may have also suffered brain damage as a result of immense blood loss. -- Crimesider

Wow if this guy doesn't get a stay I will really question some other stay-age. I mean the guy is clearly going through sustained and grievous torture.

Rhode was stabilized after his attempt and he's since been put in a restraining chair to prevent him from pulling out the sutures on his neck or doing any other harm to himself, a state attorney said. -- Crimesider

Weather this man deserves death is not my issue it is preventing this man from executing his own 1st right as a human being.

Who cares how a monster is destroyed, least by his own hands the most cruel of all thy's executioners. - me just now

To restrain a man who almost died (and may have suffered brain damage mind you) to keep him alive to kill him is torture. For what. The families? The courts? Who benefits from this treatment of a being.

Let this man have his dignity and forget the stupid power struggle.

Madness: Acid Attack Hoax: "Victim" Bethany Storro Could be Charged

VANCOUVER, Wash. (CBS/AP) Bethany Storro, the Washington state woman who claimed a random assailant threw acid on her face, could be charged with filing a false police report after she admitted that the "attack" was self-inflicted. - Naimah Jabali-Nash Crimesider blog writer Full article

Interesting development. Who would have saw that coming. Whatever disturbed this girl enough to feel the need to throw acid in her face as a means of getting attention or crying for help must be pretty bad.

I still see this poor girl as a victim even if it was a self inflicted. Acid burns are some of the most painful injuries one can sustain. Blindness (thank goodness she wore protective eye wear), sever scaring, and phantom pain is only the beginning of what this girl may have to go through.

Mental health experts need to look deep at what would invoke such a terrible response.
Look in her past. Look in her present. She has something very dark that she fears.

If this is a only money of "fame" grab I would be surprised. But if I am wrong I wish I could tell this girl there was easier ways.

Peace inside Bathany take this opportunity to turn everything around.

Madness: Piggy

I am reading On the Farm: Robert William Pickton and the Tragic Story of Vancouver's Missing Women. As an avid reader of all things true crime (you really can't be a fan can't you?) I follow the forensics side versus the emotional side. I understand many people lost their lives and I feel for them their families. Most of these women have tragic stories from the beginning. The ended up in hell. Left alone either by choice or because they were disowned by those around them. They landed in a spot that is a blight on our city. But the downtown east-side is also a refuge a safe place. A place for many people to call home even when they don't have one.

This area although depicted on television as a vile and disturbing place, is really a vibrant community, rife with as many walks of life you can muster. People really do watch out for each other. The problem with all these cases is not the DTES. it is the begining to the story in many cases yes. But the end was far away from the safety of the DTES.

PoCo on the other hand is a quaint place. With roads that remain without curds and kids still playing in the streets. There are parks and hiking trails and a working class population.

These crimes could not have happened the way they have in many other area's. When a killer stalks his prey normally they have to attack quickly. Willy and his crew had days, weeks, months to pounce.

These girls normally trusted Willy up until the point the were strung up and bled dry. They all described him the same (the survivors of course), stinky and quiet, but a nice enough guy, who would help others.

This was his MO.

Like any true psychopath he was able to compartmentalize his life enough to kill a woman and feed her to his pigs but then help others in kind and the most generous ways.

My wife was called for the pickton case to stand as a jury member. At the time the sequesternation would have not been possible as she was a single mom and could not yet depend on me like she can now. It is best she did not get chossen in the end as with her empathic tendancies (no not like Deaana Troy) she would not have been able to handle parts of the testimony in my humble opinion.

A killer who finds work and money in his "hobby" is a killer who begins to blend the two worlds and that ultimately led to his demise.

His attempts / successes in recruiting drug addicts to help in disposal and possibly murder was his undoing.

By his words "49" He wishes he got one more for that even 50.

You know, there's still time willy. Why not take your own. Hang your self in your cell and slit your throat. You will bleed out fast and as you had to tell your self about your victims to learn not to feel guilty.

You deserve it.

PIGGY - Nine inch nails
hey pig
yeah you
hey pig piggy pig pig pig
all of my fears came true
black and blue and broken bones
you left me here I'm all alone
my little piggy needed something new

nothing can stop me now
cause I don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause I don't care
nothing can stop me now
cause I don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause I just don't care

hey pig
nothing's turning out the way I planned
hey pig
there's a lot of things
I hoped you could help me understand
what am I supposed to do?
I lost my shit because of you

nothing can stop me now
cause I don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause I don't care
nothing can stop me now
cause I don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause I just don't care

Snow madness

Well it happened as they said it would. Snow all night and morning stop around noon. Last I saw it had stopped.

Why is it that people are suprised by this. There is no snow removal in Richmond so hopefully Surrey is better!

We will see.

Oh and about that format? *Shrug*