As I now write I have found some peace. I am firmly planted on the sea floor again with my fish swimming nearby. They are tentative. Is the poison gone? I can assure them it is as they look through my hundreds of outstretched arms.
They can't clean me this time I need to do it on my own. But they again can look into my belly and see it empty and see my eyes are clear.
It will undoubtedly take a lot of time for them to call me home again but at least I am planted and ready for anything.
I will paint the world with a brush so broad again. It just makes everything blurry.