Friday, December 07, 2007

What my car will look like in 2018

I can't wait till 2018. My car is going to hit car puberty and go all sexy. I own a Mazda 3 and although it hasn't changed much since I got it in 2004, supposedly it wi.ll look similar to this in 2018
Mine is grey so it wont be red like this. Come on Alrinach you have a lot of aging to do.

He will be 14 years old. I hope he is still shiny.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

My christmas wishlist

Other than the usual peace on earth and yada yada. I want this printer. It might be a little big for my den. But I was thinking but the loss of living space will be worth it. I mean this is a big printer. See I am little guy. If I had a printer this big people will walk out of my place saying.

"That was one big ass printer." "I know! Thats one heluva guy!"
If not they will look at it and say. "Wow" a simple wow. Think about with that one syllable means. Either way had them at, "Hey check out my printer."

I see I can print 100 billbords in 8 hours. Right on. I wonder how many 8-10 an hour? It must be mind boggling. Books in split seconds and shit like that.

Look at the lights on the top. Red Yellow Green. Light traffic lights. In fact maybe it is. Maybe they assume most people will put this out on their streets so passers can see it.

I am impressed and in awe.

The best part is when the engineers were asked to work it out it looks like they just went in a hit scale 500% and sent it to the manufacturers. Someone had been late on his project most likely.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Are YOU lurking in my life?

There has been a lot said about facebook and it’s positive and negatives it has on society. There definitely are positives. Reuniting with lost friends, keeping in touch with family more, just plain socializing.

The negatives are sinister but not unavoidable. You could put to much information up, and therefore compromise your relationship, your job, or your chances at getting a business deal.

But all these things are products of activity.

One thing I haven’t heard much about is the passive side. With just a name and a picture you can gather friends into you list. Then sit back and watch their lives transpire before you.

The handy news feature at first let people know what you were doing on facebook, but now it seems with people frequenting facebook and using it as a primary communication device I have started to receive a plethora of information on people outside life as well.

Some is innocent enough. "I am going to this concert", or "I am feeling blue". Without facebook I likely would not know these things. No harm done? Not so fast.

The people you interact with in real life are merely representations of them your brain has created. This is why the age old question is oft asked. “Do people cease to exist as soon as they leave your field of experience?”

This question can still be asked, but now they are in your field of experience much more often.

I lurk in others life. I will admit it. I don’t lurk in an active creepy way. I just read a news feed that is provided to me throughout the day. But I am finding that I am forming a different view of who some of my friends and family are.

I start to see the ‘not with family’ side of family. And see the ‘with family’ side of friends. I start seeing idiotic dribble from the smart people. Or wise words from someone I may underestimate. I have discovered sexual preferences that I was not aware of. I have known about a fight between two people 1500 miles away that I have not spoken to or had any contact with (other than adding them) in 14 years.

What will people become to us if we continue reading this little innocent feed? Will they become closer images to their true self since we have more information? Or will we develop a raw and distorted view as they have no chance to explain their actions? I am not sure. But the only thing I can think. What do I look like to you on the other side of the looking glass called facebook.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Enter me

April since I posted anything.

Simply pathetic.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

You see the problem is... Bags are toys.

You know I was thinking just now. I really never followed the rule of "Bags are not toys" printed on packaging (until recently with having a really young one in the house).

In truth since I was weened I can remember playing with bags in some such way.

They make wonderful popping sounds if done correctly.

I think about hours of time spent trying to do something really interesting like putting it on as a jumper. I even did that one recently.

I make pillows out of my old ziplocks. I make necklaces.

My dog will sit there looking at me with her tounge hanging out smiling as I use the bag as a glove and ... a smell proof container.

Sometimes you come out of the shoe store and you admire the bag your shoes are in. "They make my shoes look big and new!"

I find them places. I found one under the rug it was super squished I pretended it was a plate for a second.

My cat if they are tied just right will fetch them for me and feel super proud. Like he really did something.

I save them to. You know what I mean. That pile of bags. Yippee it is full. It makes me feel like I have a lot of something. "Well at least I have lots of bags." "I have piles of bags!"

And oh the hats...

Bags really are spectacular.
And they really are... toys.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Universcale - The significance of insignificance

We all feel important. Like the world revolves around us at times.

But if you think about how large the space is between us and truly significant events you soon realize your importance is a perception.

We are all important parts of the cosmos but very small parts.


Thursday, March 29, 2007

What do lasers, robots, Las Vegas, Airplanes, and Michael Jackson have in common?

They are all to come together in a massive show of democratic might!

Lasers? Frickin LASERS?

Children will come from far and wide and be led into the jaws of a waiting puffer fish to be enveloped into a large bouncing inflatable. They will then roll into the grand canyon yelling. Sorbet! Sorbet!

And the United States of Assholes will finally and forever be remembered as a bunch of chuckles.

I bet after this spectacle the Jihad will be called off and all the USA debt will be forgiven.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Importance of the un-important

Everyday someone tries to fill your head with it. It is one of the many Cancerous habits that plague most of the worlds collective mind. When you watch the morning news, there will be reports coming in from around the world about it. About babies being born in to it (one of the saddest parts in my opinion). There is advertisements for it.

It is the world of the VIP.

The name it self helps it's cause. Very important people.

What makes these people important.

Preception. The general population "precieves" them as important so they are.

We class them, categories the roles they play on the canvas that is our minds.

Paris, Bruce, Tom & Katie, and of course Regis.

They seem so real. The more real they feel the more they seem important. Regis is being patched up. To many he is an inspiration. He calls into his show that is currently being hosted by and battery of his peers. Other important people who stand behind Regis in his time of need.
What about Kyle? Or Nick?

What about "Old man" Jackson? They had heart problems. The were patched. They did not have a group of peers to carry on their legacy so public opinion did not wane.

They did not have satelight conference calls with work having millions of people come together and well wish. They are important to. In the end when they become plant food they amount to about the same count of energy.

So why do we perceive these people as important. Is the lights? Is it the makeup? I don't think so.

It is completely because we were told they are important.

We were told from an early age. Birth in fact.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Astronaut? Rock Star? Doctor? Sure but it wasn't just a doctor. It was "The doctor".

From your first taste of the humility of being an human and therefore and animal. You need to rise. You need somewhere to go. Where is there to go? If you are talking about being, nowhere. You are already there.

If you talk about ego. There is something you can do. You can have more people identify your ego. The more people who identify with your ego, role. The more the role is solidified.

That role becomes the person and the person is the role. More people everyday consider even unimportant tramps important.

It is not wrong to be entertained by entertainer's entertainment. It is not wrong to View a famous artist's work with reverence.

It is only wrong to be interested because that person has been learned to be important.

Important is perceived. There is nothing more important to me than my family. But that is because they are real real to me, and truly mine.

Next? Role models.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

What time is it?


That is the only answer that could ever be correct. The question is base in insanity. In the ego. There are practical uses for time for sure. What time does this bus come? That is a viable use. But even that in our world of 15 minute waits is hardly relevant in the grand picture.

The time is now. What other time could it be?

Saturday, March 24, 2007

200th Post!!! Now with more butter!

The is my 200th post and as a gift to myself I will post three you tube links!

Friday, March 02, 2007


Check it. This band recently changed my life inderectly and directly.

I was at there show last Friday and that evening I destroyed a piece of myself.

Since then I have been going through a mirad of things most of them directly associated with substance abuse.

At the show I bought two Sampler CD's and they have been on repeat since.

Today, I am listening with a new ear and hearing the message. A message of hope.

Thanks guys, see you at the next show.

Clicky to their myspace

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

USB absinthe spoon - The green fairy goes 2.0

There is nothing like blending useful technology with a beautiful and usable piece of art.

USB Absinthe spoon

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Not fixed but patched up

As I now write I have found some peace. I am firmly planted on the sea floor again with my fish swimming nearby. They are tentative. Is the poison gone? I can assure them it is as they look through my hundreds of outstretched arms.

They can't clean me this time I need to do it on my own. But they again can look into my belly and see it empty and see my eyes are clear.

It will undoubtedly take a lot of time for them to call me home again but at least I am planted and ready for anything.

I will paint the world with a brush so broad again. It just makes everything blurry.

Monday, February 26, 2007

I am broken

Not like a glass thrown against a wall, or a heart smashed against a step. But more like a horse that was wild turned tame.

I see that I want to be ridden. I want to be worked. I was to be bridled not as a slave or as a prisoner but an entity in a symbiotic relationship.

I want to be the anenome protecting the fish that swim in my person. I want to look to the surface and know that up there I would die and my partners aren't stupid enough to follow me.

I am poisoned at the moment so the fish have left at first I thought "go to the surface that will show everyone how you feel". But I realized that was my distructive behaviour trying to get the best of me. I flushed my poison. I sat in my sickness and looked at the floor for hours. Noticing stains I never have before. I wonder is that blood? No it is likely jam dropped by the people who make my house a home.

I returned to the sea to realize that I had in fact lost my home. I still have my house but it is empty.

Even my dog didn't care I was home.

I will fight for what I believe in. What I know is real. What I know is right. I will wear a ring on my finger with pride and I will be me over and over and over again. I am not such a bad guy I have tonnes of potential. Even if no one has faith in me at least I do. Thats all I can say

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The crowhawk

The hair be gone, thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Look what I made

I have almost invented something. I am not sure what to call it. I am not sure how it works as I haven’t written the instruction booklet. I don’t really read them anyways. I will probably just figure it out.

The packaging is up in the air. As I am not sure how big it will be.

I know for sure that it will come wrapped in plastic bags. They will say “Bags are not toys”.

I know this so it seems a moot point but I need to include it for law.

On a side note bags make wonderful hats. And water resistant neckerchiefs for that matter.

I want to for surely use that indestructible plastic that smells of rubbers. Oh yeah and those twist ties that are pretty much the best twist ties ever. I think I will include extras so that people can take the lunches to work using them.

I need to come up with a catchy tag line like “The future is now” or “Got milk?”

My first attempt is a keeper I think: “My future is Got that?”

What do you think?

Does anybody know a good manufacturing company? They need to be overseas and employ mostly tweens. They still have littler fingers but there is always a slow big guy who can help with heavy lifting. I will send them Christmas cards with Candy canes scotch taped to them. They will all sing a remix of Dancing queen.

I am going to rule the world. What is the number of the patent place?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I smashed my skull

I am at it again. As the pavement dries, and the stir crazies begin, I got out on my board. Well not my board, but mine for now.

That reminds me that one of my board brothers (who has been MIA in Thailand for a couple months) is returning in the near future.

The sun is shining the shoes are stinky and I am ready to run.

Digi, how close are you to uninjured and ready?

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Finally thats over

Xmas and NewYears gone again for good. No hard feelings here. This one was ridiculous. No more I say no more.