Doing more reflection based on my direction I hope I get an erection.

Madness

I am finally getting things done

So this whole life change has had a profound effect on my state of mind. During the day while at work I feel completely in control. Master of my domain. I know where everything is. I know every question I need an answer to. I know at the drop of a question I can answer confidently. My desk is neat and organized and my email is up to date.

I feel great!

Well almost great.

There is one more step. I have been resisting it for sometime. The full adoption of my work methodology at my home level. The logical and precise nature of my work, is not reflected well when I am at home. I loose my clarity. I loose my focus. I start to react. I start to ignore.

Thought

Does one persons view of another often reflect more of themselves than they realize? I think so. We experience other peoples REACTIONS to us. We are in complete control of our own self so therefore you also control the self the other is reacting to and therefore need not worry ones self with what their reaction is but what you did to provoke it.

I didn't get a boner btw.

Working isn't

Thought: Working isn't.

If you can understand that sentence you have just won a lemon meringue pie.

It is time to pick my sorry ass up and get back at it. Sitting there staring into space hasn't ever gotten me anywhere.

My reflection is my image and my image is my being my being is a reflection of my image.

Pushing you away

Madness: People keep asking me "what's wrong" or "are you ok?" like they care or something. It is funny the same people who would complain that I am no fun now complained I was too much before. Well get over the fun Trevor died with Ryan Brady. I am this Trevor pissed of, anxious, sad, and lonely.

Madness: I am so finished with people outside of my immediate circle. And even some of the I am through with. All anybody ever wanted from me is be Ryan I am no longer Ryan he is dead. Never to come back. Take it from me he is a ego-centric prick anyway. If you don't like the real me again you too can fuck off.

Thought: My mom always told me to just be myself. For some reason when ever I tried I failed miserably. I was ridiculed and called a fag when I was being myself because I cry, I love, and I care. So I built this bad ass character (well as bad ass as a guy like me could emulate) telling everyone I could of all my bad behaviour well now I am defined as such. But i was never their Ryan had a strong hold for most of my high school years and now he is starving to death or may already be dead I really can't be sure not until I am dead. I am his host if the host dies the paracite dies with it.

So get on with it.

Thought = Madness 3.0

I have decided to change things up a built. Now is a good time as I have virtually no readers. The online diary thing is no longer working for me. So when thinking of a new direction I returned to the original concept of T=M.

Thought = Madness, throughout history our world’s greatest minds have been an eccentric bunch, from Einstein to Socrates, and more recently Chomsky to Dawkins. Earth’s real thinkers were regarded by most of their peers are ‘different’ or ‘crazy’.

The reason for this is twofold, one because the very nature of a great thinker was to question the “Norm”. Look beyond belief and obtain glimpses of things the current ‘realities’ do not allow for. It is this essence that I aim to capture within these pages. Two, a bit of the classic genius syndrome .

I am by no means suggesting that I am one of the world’s great thinkers but instead put forth that there is a little of that greatness in each and every one of us. We are born with it. Unfortunately it is beat from us as we age, and some people choose to shut it off altogether. It is a common perception that imagination is not worth anything but it is that same trait that saves corporations from failure, or countries from destruction. We even have a cliché regarding it.
Think outside the box.

To capture ones imaginings reign them in and use that skill as a tool is one of my greatest quests. To prove my teachers wrong when they question my abilities and claimed I had my head in the clouds. My head was in the clouds because those said clouds are really interesting. Frankly I couldn’t have cared any less to think about the text book thoughts. Those thoughts have been thought so many times that there is nothing else to learn from it. If I ever need to know that information I know it is in a book and ready for me to use. What about the information not yet in a book. Not yet conceived. I think that is where the magic happens.

So the new format will play out something like this:

• Monday – Highlight last week’s comments and respond
• Tuesday - Talk back (Highlight thoughts around the blogosphere)
• Wednesday - No posts (Workday to prepare topic for thought of the week)
• Thursday - Thought of the week ( with homework for readers to formulate debates/ideas on a particular subject)
• Friday - Free thought
• Weekend post – Free Thought