Madness: People keep asking me "what's wrong" or "are you ok?" like they care or something. It is funny the same people who would complain that I am no fun now complained I was too much before. Well get over the fun Trevor died with Ryan Brady. I am this Trevor pissed of, anxious, sad, and lonely.
Madness: I am so finished with people outside of my immediate circle. And even some of the I am through with. All anybody ever wanted from me is be Ryan I am no longer Ryan he is dead. Never to come back. Take it from me he is a ego-centric prick anyway. If you don't like the real me again you too can fuck off.
Thought: My mom always told me to just be myself. For some reason when ever I tried I failed miserably. I was ridiculed and called a fag when I was being myself because I cry, I love, and I care. So I built this bad ass character (well as bad ass as a guy like me could emulate) telling everyone I could of all my bad behaviour well now I am defined as such. But i was never their Ryan had a strong hold for most of my high school years and now he is starving to death or may already be dead I really can't be sure not until I am dead. I am his host if the host dies the paracite dies with it.
So get on with it.